I stand in front of the congregation. My voice is shaking. My hands are shaking, and I just *know* people are judging me. (But they weren't. I have the best church family. I was just in my own head.) I was afraid that I wasn't good enough. That I was too fat to stand in front of the church. That I wasn't good enough.
But...I once I began to speak - things changed.
Back in November, I wrote a blog post, I Don't Want to Be a Jonah. I talked about how I was nervous about speaking in front of my church about angels, something that I didn't feel qualified to do. Well, I finally spoke at my church back in March, over a month ago. (I know. I'm late with this post. I'm sorry to those who were expecting it sooner.) And, I did better than I thought I would. I was nervous, yes, and it was evident in my shaky, breathless voice. But I did it. I did what God asked of me. I wasn't a Jonah.
I think that's the thing that makes me the happiest. God didn't have to get my attention by me refusing to do what He has asked of me. Even though I was nervous and scared that I would screw up something, He helped me through. He gave me the words to speak, and I did it.
And it helped others. God used my words, words that He had given me, to help people in my church and their families. That night, I received word from someone who had used what I'd said to call on angels to help her family when a tornado tore through their community.
I mean, come on. How awesome is our God?! The timing was perfect, and I was even blessed by a sweet couple in our church just for being obedient to God.
The thing is, I wasn't qualified for this job. I wasn't, but God qualified me. He has given me insight into angels that I didn't even realize I knew about until I was preparing to speak at my church. And it was then that I realized that God could use me, my voice, to change things. Okay, well, I've realized that He could before then, but I always thought it would be in a different way, such as using my voice to spread the #loveyourself message that has become so important to me. And I can still do that, but I can also speak about angels and what I know about them. Or whatever else God has me speak about.
It's silly to think that I can only speak about one thing, if I really think about it. Pastors and speakers don't only speak about one topic, so why should I be any different? I don't write blog posts that are the same when I post on here. Why would speaking be any different?
My biggest fear was that I didn't know what I was doing and would say something totally unrelated to what God said about it. I know it was probably just the devil messing with me, and I let him. I let him tell me that I would make a mistake and accidentally tell something that wasn't exactly right.
I don't really remember what I said that night, but I do know that many people stopped and talked to me, telling me their own angel experiences or how much they enjoyed what I said. I loved hearing their angel experiences, and if you have one, let me know! I would love to hear about it!
Since I can't exactly remember what I spoke about, below is my speech. I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know your experiences!
If the embedded file doesn't work, here is the link to it: Speaking about Angels