I stand in front of the congregation. My voice is shaking. My hands are shaking, and I just *know* people are judging me. (But they weren't. I have the best church family. I was just in my own head.) I was afraid that I wasn't good enough. That I was too fat to stand in front of the church. That I wasn't good enough.
But...I once I began to speak - things changed.
Back in November, I wrote a blog post, I Don't Want to Be a Jonah. I talked about how I was nervous about speaking in front of my church about angels, something that I didn't feel qualified to do. Well, I finally spoke at my church back in March, over a month ago. (I know. I'm late with this post. I'm sorry to those who were expecting it sooner.) And, I did better than I thought I would. I was nervous, yes, and it was evident in my shaky, breathless voice. But I did it. I did what God asked of me. I wasn't a Jonah.
I think that's the thing that makes me the happiest. God didn't have to get my attention by me refusing to do what He has asked of me. Even though I was nervous and scared that I would screw up something, He helped me through. He gave me the words to speak, and I did it.
And it helped others. God used my words, words that He had given me, to help people in my church and their families. That night, I received word from someone who had used what I'd said to call on angels to help her family when a tornado tore through their community.
I mean, come on. How awesome is our God?! The timing was perfect, and I was even blessed by a sweet couple in our church just for being obedient to God.
The thing is, I wasn't qualified for this job. I wasn't, but God qualified me. He has given me insight into angels that I didn't even realize I knew about until I was preparing to speak at my church. And it was then that I realized that God could use me, my voice, to change things. Okay, well, I've realized that He could before then, but I always thought it would be in a different way, such as using my voice to spread the #loveyourself message that has become so important to me. And I can still do that, but I can also speak about angels and what I know about them. Or whatever else God has me speak about.
It's silly to think that I can only speak about one thing, if I really think about it. Pastors and speakers don't only speak about one topic, so why should I be any different? I don't write blog posts that are the same when I post on here. Why would speaking be any different?
My biggest fear was that I didn't know what I was doing and would say something totally unrelated to what God said about it. I know it was probably just the devil messing with me, and I let him. I let him tell me that I would make a mistake and accidentally tell something that wasn't exactly right.
I don't really remember what I said that night, but I do know that many people stopped and talked to me, telling me their own angel experiences or how much they enjoyed what I said. I loved hearing their angel experiences, and if you have one, let me know! I would love to hear about it!
Since I can't exactly remember what I spoke about, below is my speech. I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know your experiences!
If the embedded file doesn't work, here is the link to it: Speaking about Angels
Oh this is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. You are beautiful. Thanks for this message. You made me cry. You are loved always!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Syl! <3
Delete