Sometimes, being single is a choice, and even though I'm currently choosing to be single right now (not actively seeking a boyfriend), it's still hard to be alone. What's harder, though, is when people make singleness out to be a disease, or they don't think about what they're saying when they bring up couples in church, etc. and basically forgetting that it hurts those of us single by choice or widowed or divorced to think that, "We don't have anyone to hold hands with and pray or worship with." People don't think about the fact that singling out couples hurts some of who aren't part of a couple.
It's also our job, as the single person, to not let it hurt us. We need to learn to lean on The One who loves us so much more than any human can. It's important for us to remember that there's nothing wrong with being single.
I'll repeat that.
There's absolutely NOTHING WRONG with being single.
To understand what I'm about to say, I have to set up the setting. I live with two couples, my mom and dad and my sister and brother-in-law. I have five nieces and nephews, and we all live in one house while my sister and her family work on building a new place to live. The reason I still live here is because I HATE being alone. I can't stand being by myself. I tried living alone, and I despised it. So, I moved back home while I get my life situated. But, even in a house full of people, when I hate being alone, I still feel lonely.
There's a difference between being alone and being lonely, I believe, because as humans we definitely crave companionship from someone who loves us unconditionally.
Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in feeling like no one ever sees me, understands me, or even loves me. Sometimes I think that I'll be alone my whole life, but that's not true. In the midst of my pain, God spoke these words to me, "I will not forsake you."
Keeping that in mind, I tried to remember that although it's, at time, lonely to be single, just imagine what would happen if we took things into our own hands and didn't wait on God to send the right person into our lives. That could be a disastrous situation, so I've come to accept the fact that it's my job to wait on God to send the right person to me, that we'll meet in our God-ordained time. Personally, I'm not even going to date until God says to.
But, the thing is, you can't make out being married as being better than being single. Singleness is just as much a calling as being married is. There is so much that we can do for the Lord as a single that married people can't do. I'm tired of hearing people talk about being single like it's the plague.
Even the apostle Paul said, "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am." (1 Corinthians 7:8) If you read the entire chapter, you'll see that he's talking about being single. It's not a commandment of God; it's a suggestion from a man who lived for God.
Why is it good to remain single according to Paul?
You're free from care. (1 Corinthians 7:32-33)
If you're married, you're more concerned with your husband or wife and making them happy instead of focusing on God. Paul wanted everyone to be free from distractions to serve the Lord.
Am I saying that if you're married you can't serve the Lord? Of course not. I'm telling you that Paul thought it was more beneficial to be single, without the distractions of trying to please a husband or wife and focusing on them instead of the Lord.
I think we single ladies and gentlemen would be better off focusing our time on the Lord right now than worrying about finding a mate.
It's important to remember that God has a plan for each of us, and everything happens in His time, not ours. So, why should we worry about being single when the God with a plan has each of us in His hands? He has ordained each step of our life, and He will continuing doing so until we step into what He has for us.
I just want the single men and women out there who are lonely to know that the God of the universe is watching over them and protecting them. He wants them to know that He'll never leave them nor forsake them. (Hebrews 13:5)
God should always be our first love, our first leader, and our Father. He is a friend who "sticketh closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24) He loves us; He cares for us; and gives us our hearts' desires. I'm not alone, and neither are you.
God loves you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.