Lies I tell myself

I tell myself I'm not beautiful.

I tell myself the reflection staring back at me isn't worthy of love.

I tell myself each and every flaw.

I tell myself that I need to look this way.

I tell myself I need to change that about me.

I tell myself I'm don't deserve to be happy.

And then I remember.

I'm beautiful.

I'm worthy of love.

My "flaws" make me who I am.

I don't have to look this way to be happy.

I don't have to change to make others like me.

I am completely deserving of happiness.

See,  we let lies take us over and dictate how we feel. I'm guilty of it, and it's a daily struggle to overcome these lies and to replace them with the truth. I don't have to be a victim of my own thoughts, and you don't either. I think we forget that sometimes. Our biggest enemy is us. It's a daily struggle to love ourselves for who we are.

But, I hope we all can trade our lies for truths and see how beautiful we truly are. We all deserve to be happy.

I know it's not easy. It's like the mirror shouts each flaw at us loudly. We're too fat. We're too skinny. Our hair isn't the way it's supposed to be. These clothes make us look worse. My nose is too big. My lips are too small.

Flaw after flaw, we're pointing it out, constantly putting ourselves down. What would happen if you spoke only good things about yourself for one day? Instead of saying, I'm too fat. How about you say, "I'm me. That's all that matters." Instead of calling yourself too skinny say, "I'm me. That's all that matters."

One day could change how we see ourselves. Is it worth it? Would it be worth it to learn how to love yourself? Are YOU worth it?

Our Father didn't create us to hate ourselves. He created us to live for Him, and if we're constantly beating ourselves down, how can we live for Him, the One who created us?  The answer is simple. We can't.

He knows who you are, and He created you anyway. He loves you, and it's about time we started loving ourselves.

God wants us to love ourselves as much as He loves us, and do you know how much He loves us? It's unfathomable how much He loves us! We'll probably never love ourselves that much, but if we could make one step closer to that love He has, then wouldn't that make us happier? Wouldn't our existence be more joyful? 

See, we're beautiful because we're of God, and God makes everything beautiful (Isaiah 61:3). I just don't want you to forget how beautiful you are! Let God remind you of that today.

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time . (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Vacations, Bathing Suits, and Body Issues…

I know it's been a while since I posted on here. I'm sorry. I need to keep it up better!

Some of you followers follow my other blog as well as this one. If you do, I'm sorry for the repeat. But there are followers on here that I wanted to see this post that don't follow my writing blog. So, here is the post on my writing blog that I wanted to share. It was hard to admit this, and it's very personal. But, it needed to be said. We all go through this struggle.

I recently took a long, over-due beach trip with my family. And you know what that means – swimsuits. I have a suit. It’s a tankini with shorts and a tank top-like top, for those of you who don’t know what that is. If you’ve seen my newest release, Entertaining Angels, around, you’ll also know that I’m trying to promote a healthy body image in women–and men–who need it.

Do you know how hard that is when you’re an overweight woman who is seeing all these cute little women running around in bikinis? You feel worthless and fat and ugly. Well, I did anyway. But, you know what, I went out there in my swimsuit anyway. I went in the ocean and got rolled by a wave, and I felt like a beached whale some. But, I also realized something, if people thought that about me, they didn’t say it. So, they probably weren’t thinking anything about it. It was just in my head.

What I’m trying to say is that, even though I’m trying to get this across to everyone that they are beautiful, I’m still human, and it’s a daily struggle to feel beautiful and have a healthy body image of myself. It’s not easy to look in the mirror some days and see myself as beautiful. I have a friend who will not let me doubt myself. He’s much like Chase, and I didn’t even realize that I had used him as an inspiration while I was writing Chase! Still, we both talked about the similarities the other day, and it was uncanny! But, the point of that is to tell you that he still won’t let me talk down about myself. And it took him years, but he’s gotten in my head. When I doubt myself, I think about what he would say if I told him my thoughts. It helps, but I also have to learn how to love myself and find myself attractive. Self-confidence is everything, and I was seriously lacking in that. I’m slowly gaining it, but I’m gladly gaining it.

Actually, real-life Chase shared this on his Facebook yesterday morning. :)

That’s why I’ve written Entertaining Angels. I realize that not everyone has a Chase to tell them how beautiful they are. So, I want to them to come to that conclusion on their own. Much like I’m working on myself. I want my book to do that for them too. I want people to see just how beautiful they are, and how much God loves them for who they are. Yes, this is a Christian novel, but it’s also a novel about self-esteem issues that even non-Christians have said was a beautiful reminder about learning to love oneself.

So, although I’m working on loving myself in a swimsuit and trying not to judge myself based on what others look like, I also hope that other women out there are doing the same thing. I hope that they’ve maybe read what I had to say in Entertaining Angels and are applying it to themselves. I hope they truly learn to love themselves. I don’t care if I never sell another book. I just want women–and especially teenage girls–to see that THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!

Beach selfie! (No makeup by the way!)