When God rewards your bad behavior…

I am ashamed to even write this, but I think we’ve all been where I was a time or two.

For a few weeks now, I’ve been in a financial need for one specific bill. The minimum is extremely high, and I’ve had a hard time getting the money because work is slow. That’s no one’s fault. I just haven’t been able to get any business and pay my bill. (I’m also ashamed to mention that, but for this story to be told, you have to know it.)

Back in January, I began to pray that God would send me the money I needed. I was sure that He told me, “Watch Me.” The money never came. They added a late fee on top of February’s payment. And now, even more money it due. It was due on Saturday, and I had faith that it was going to come. God is always faithful to deliver, right? It didn’t come.

By now, my faith had begun to waver. Well, it wavered on and off since January 20^th when the bill was due the first time, but at this point, the pressure of not having money was bearing down on me. The phone calls hadn’t stopped of them asking me to pay the money I owed. I finally told them I’d try, but I still wasn’t able to pay it.

Dummy me, I asked God why He would say, “Watch Me,” if He wasn’t going to do anything. I didn’t get a direct answer, but God did tell me to trust Him. Easier said than done, right? I have difficulty placing my trust when I feel like I’ve been rejected. I’m not saying that I thought God had rejected me, but I felt like my prayers hadn’t been answered. What’s the point of praying when He doesn’t?

Like I said, I was a big dummy. God has a plan for everything, even when it doesn’t seem like He is even answering prayers, He likely has something bigger and better planned, something our small, human minds can’t comprehend. My mind can’t possibly comprehend anything, apparently.

Well, things happened, afterwards, and I’ve had a migraine headache for days. My emotions are at their highest, and my nieces and nephews fell ill. Three of five had strep throat after having it two or three weeks ago. One of those nephews had strep throat, developed pneumonia, and then got strep throat again. Then, three of the kids had ear infections as well. So, that makes one with strep, two with strep and ear infections, one with just an ear infection. Then, after they were diagnosed with this, they ended up with the stomach virus.

If you know me, you know that I’m a huge baby when it comes to the stomach bug. I can’t stand it. I cry every time I come down with it, and I basically beg and pled with God each day to never let that happen to me. Like I said, huge baby. Anyway, three of the kids ended up with that, and since we all live together at the time being, I’ve been put at risk of getting it. (I'm claiming victory and NO SICKNESS though.)

Remember, I’ve had a migraine for days, which makes me sick to my stomach. My head is literally sore to the touch, making me dizzy and all the other symptoms that migraines cause. (Look it up if you don’t know. It’s awful.) My sister hasn’t slept in two days. Her husband gets a touch of the bug as well, and I’m doing my best to help her with the kids who don’t have it and trying to keep things clean. I’m emotional. I can’t stand it anymore. I'm literally breaking down, crying and begging God to end the sickness.

I have prayed like I’ve never prayed before. I’ve convinced myself I’ve gotten the sick stomach, or I will get it. Then I’ll talk myself out of it. I’m a bit of hypochondriac when it comes to this sickness. Anyway, I ask God for an answer, for confirmation that this over. I feel like I get it, so I go to bed not worrying. I wake up to a nephew with it, and I lose it.

“God, You said it was over. Why aren’t you answering my prayers? God, why? Why would you lie to me? Why would you tell me that it’s over when obviously it isn’t? Why, God? Why?!”

I don’t even wait for answer. I decide that it isn’t worth it. I’m not hearing God right when He talks to me anyway. What’s the point? Why even bother? I don’t pray. I don’t feel like praying. I’m over it.

“I’ll talk to you later God, but right now, I’m done.”

Let me remind you, yet again, of how much of an idiot I am.

I call my daddy. I’m such a daddy’s girl, y’all. We have a close bond, and he’s my spiritual guide as well. So if I have a problem, he’s the first one I turn to. Anyway, I call him, and he doesn’t give me the answer I want to hear. I obviously want him to side with me, but he’s much better than I am and sides with God.

He reminded me of Daniel when I asked him why God wasn’t answering my prayers. A messenger of God, an angel, was hindered for twenty-one days, yet Daniel stood fast, waiting for his answer. I wish I could say that I was that strong. I wasn’t. I broke. My faith had been shattered.

I shut God out. I believe that He was trying to speak to me, but I wouldn’t listen. I kept thinking, “Well, if I didn’t hear Him right this time, what else did I get wrong?” So I was determined not to listen. I didn’t pray like my dad told me to or even talk to my mom and get her to pray with me like I dad asked me to (because he was at work). I just whined and cried about my situation. I was an emotional wreck all day long.

My mom and I had to run a few errands and she told me to put on Yolanda Adam’s Victory and praise God. I didn’t want to, but if Momma says do something, you listen to Momma. I felt much better by the time we got into town, and I wasn’t even worried about the things that had been weighing heavily on my mind. 

As I was price matching peanut butter at the check out, the cashier said she needed to do the same thing with it because she just ran out of peanut butter, too. I gave her my paper because I was done with it, so she’d have it and remember to price match it. She thanked me three times, and then said, “You came to my line for a reason,” and then she said later on, “God will bless you for giving me your paper.” I didn’t think much of it. It was just a paper, and I was going to throw it away when I got home anyway. It was best for her to have it if she really needed it.

When we finished loading the groceries in the back of the van, Mom looked at me, seriously, and said, “Pick that money up off the ground.” I turned around, and there was a $20 lying there. It didn’t belong to anyone around because there wasn’t anyone around. We looked. There wasn't anyone near us.

It was just there, soaking wet from the rain. As soon as I got into the van, I started crying. Momma said, “God just said you weren’t broke anymore.”

It was a reminder that He loved me and was still looking out for me, even when I was an insolent child who had forgotten how much He actually loved me. 

I was ashamed, but I knew that even though I was ashamed, He would tell me not to be ashamed because that was one of the many things that Jesus had hung on the cross for. As I relayed my story to Dad, laughing, he said, “Condemnation isn’t part of a Christian’s life. God doesn’t condemn you.”

He doesn’t, and He shows us mercy, grace, and favor even when we’re unmerciful in blaming Him for forgetting us and/or not answering our prayers.

It is my goal to try and be more faithful, to remember that God is watching out for me even when I don’t think He is. It’s my job to put faith where my worry is and remember that God loves me. In the end, that’s what matters. That’s what causes Him to work. My pleading and whining and crying won’t do any good if I don’t believe that He loves me. And He does love me. He loves me, you, us more than we could ever comprehend.

Whatever it is that you’re going through today, just remember that God is faithful, even when we’re not. He’s taking care of His kids, and He loves you.

Shake off the dry bones

As I woke this morning (5/8/2015), a phrase was running through my mind, “Shake off the dry bones.” I wasn’t sure what that meant, but as I searched through Bible verses with “dry” and “bones” in it, Ezekiel 37:2 popped out at me, and I couldn’t get it out of my head. 

Then He caused me to pass by them all around, and behold, there were very many in the open valley; and indeed they were very dry.

Of course, the very dry bones meant that these bodies had been there for a while. There was no flesh, sinew or anything left on them. They were as dead as dead can be. So I’m thinking, “Okay, God. There’s something important about this phrase. What is it?” So, I read the entire section of Ezekiel 37 “The Dry Bones Live”. 

God told Ezekiel to “Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! Thus says the Lord God to these bones: “Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the Lord.”

So, Ezekiel does, and the bones stand up, getting their sinew and flesh, but they aren’t breathing. God told him to prophesy again. 

Also He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.” So I prophesied as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army.

So now, we have a living breathing army who was once dead come back to life again. You have to remember, this was a vision that God had given Ezekiel about Israel as a nation. God was causing Israel to rise again, and He was reestablishing the army. 

What got me was the next few verses, God’s explanation of what the vision was about.  

Then He said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They indeed say, ‘Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!’ Therefore prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel. Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves. I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it,” says the Lord.’”

If we take this and put it into context into today’s time, God is telling us that He will take our old, dry bones and renew them, giving us hope again! If we listen to His words, have faith, and stay strong, He will breathe life back into our dry bones, giving us hope once again!

See, Christians are beginning to get weary. The enemy is fighting us hard, but God says to shake off the old bones! Shake off the weariness and have hope! He will see us through, and He’s going to make sure that we’re set up in the place of our inheritance (His promises). We're an army, and He's breathed life back into us!

Don’t lose hope. Don’t let the dry bones overtake you. Shake them off, and live in faith, knowing that God is going to put us back where we belong. He is going to help us and see us through the difficult times to get us to the good times.

 

My Grace is Sufficient

The other day, I was in prayer with God, and this thought, My grace is sufficient, popped into my mind. God had me think on it and study it, because I asked a simple question, "What does that mean?"

I searched the meaning of "grace" because I was curious exactly what it meant - and to my surprise, here was the definition given to me by Google.

: (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God

I've heard many definitions of God's grace, but this one stuck out to me the most. God's grace is free and unmerited. That means, we don't have to do anything to get this grace and favor; we just have to be His.

Now that we've heard the definition, let's go back to My grace is sufficient. The first part of 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness...”

My grace is sufficient...  God's grace is enough. What's it enough for? Anything. Everything. It doesn't matter what situation we're facing, what matters is that having God on our side, that's enough. 

Take a look at what God said in the next part of that verse, "My strength is made perfect in weakness."  

When we feel at our weakest, God's strength is perfect. As I was struggling with some things, my weaknesses, they brought me closer to God. They opened up doors I hadn't experienced with Christ before. I had opened a door to the Savior, even though I was struggling and feeling all alone. God's strength helped me through my weakness. His strength helped me fight a battle I had been struggling with.

His strength had proven to be perfect because I was relying on Him to get me through this. I didn't have the strength myself to face the tormenting thoughts the devil was placing in my head. (I was fighting worry and depression, and the devil was using this against me.) It had been a constant battle for weeks to get over this and I was worn down. I didn't know if I could make it anymore, but God showed me that His strength was enough to get me through because it was perfect. I'm only human. I couldn't have done it on my own, and God knew that. 

This whole time, God's grace was more than sufficient. His free and unmerited favor was mine; all I had to do was reach out and get it.  His strength was mine. All I had to do was reach out and take it. 

Don't let your situation dictate your life. God has sent you His strength. Lean on Him. And always remember, His grace (free and unmerited favor) is more than enough. You can do this. You can make it through whatever storm you're facing. Don't let the devil have the wheel because he'll take you down the wrong path every time.

‘What do these stones mean?’ - Memorials of God's Mighty Work

In Joshua 3 and 4, God has dried up the waters of the Jordan for the Children of Israel, so that they could walk across dry land.  Just like He did for them at the Red Sea.  So this makes twice that God has dried up rivers for His children to cross without having to put themselves out to get on the other side of a large body of water. 

Why did He do this?  He makes that known in verse seven of chapter three:

The Lord said to Joshua, “Today I will begin to exalt you in the sight of all Israel, that they may know that, as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.

 Despite some of the things that the children of Israel had done to anger God, they were still His chosen people.  He had given them a promised land, and they were journeying to it.  So, they had to cross this river, the Jordan, as part of their journey.

But, just like God had taken care of them as they fled Egypt, He was going to take care of them now.  

 
...all Israel was passing over on dry ground until all the nation finished passing over the Jordan.  (Joshua 3:17 ESV)

But, as they finished crossing over, God told them to make a memorial of twelve stones.

When all the nation had finished passing over the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, “Take twelve men from the people, from each tribe a man, and command them, saying, ‘Take twelve stones from here out of the midst of the Jordan, from the very place where the priests' feet stood firmly, and bring them over with you and lay them down in the place where you lodge tonight.’” (Joshua 4:1-3 ESV)

Why were they to make this memorial?  Why do we make memorials at all?  To remember someone, something, some event, that was important.

 And he said to the people of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over^, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.” (Joshua 4:21-24 ESV)

The twelve stones represented the twelve tribes of Israel who crossed over dry land.  That was a miracle!  That showed the mighty hand of God! 

This verse led me to think about what stones we have in our lives.  What are our memorials?  Our memorials are the testimonies that we have.  Have you been healed?  That's a stone memorial.  Have you been to the brink of breaking but rose back up again?  That's a stone memorial.  What has God done for you that is your memorial? 

More than that though, do we let these memorials be known?  Are our stone memorials visible or are we trying to hide them from the world?  

Don't hide the stone memorials of your life.  If you have something to share, share it!  Let the world know how mighty God is!  He performs miracles on a daily basis.  You woke up this morning.  You had food on the table, and you were able to get to work.  Don't be ashamed to let the world know that you have stone memorials.  

Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord...(2 Timothy 1:8 ESV)

What are your memorials?  Share your testimonies and uplift someone else today!