Where is God?

Have you ever felt like you cannot be comforted from whatever it is that is bothering you?  Maybe you feel like nothing will ever be right in your life again, that whatever hurts you will forever hang over your head.

You cry out the words, "Where is my help?"  And the verse may come to mind, "My help comes from the Lord."

You think, where is God in this?  Don't fret.  You aren't the only one who has thought that.  Even in the Bible, say in Psalm 119:82, it says,

"My eyes fail from searching Your word, Saying, "When will You comfort me?"

Sure, there are answers to your problems in the Word of God.  There are times, though, that you can read through the Bible and not find anything to help you deal with your problems.  Or, you find them but they don't alleviate your worries and concerns.

So you keep praying, and you keep searching. Good.  Keep doing do that.  Because, you WILL find GOD the more you read the word and search for Him.

He hasn't moved.  The problem is us.  We aren't casting all of our worries on God.  We aren't letting go of our problems and giving it to Him.

I've done this.  I've prayed and prayed until I felt like my prayers were bouncing off of the ceiling.  I felt like God wasn't hearing my cries for help, and I felt like if He was hearing them, He wasn't answering them.

That of course wasn't the case.  The answers I wanted weren't in God's will.  He was hearing me, and He was answering my prayers.  He just wasn't answering them the way I wanted Him to, but after some thought, and a good read through Psalms, I knew that I had to "Let Go and Let God."

He wants to help us.  He wants to comfort us, but we won't let Him.  We, as humans, want to fix the problems ourselves.  We want God to take a lead from us and follow our directions, but we can't do that.  We have to follow God's directions for our lives - the Word.

When you feel like God isn't near, I beg you to reconsider your thoughts.  God is right there.  Waiting.  Waiting on you to come to Him and let Him be the Father that He wants to be.  He wants to comfort His child.  It isn't His will to make us suffer.  We make ourselves suffer by not giving into Him and falling into His loving arms that are waiting for us.

Psalm 121: 1, 2

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills - From whence comes my help?  My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth."

I encourage you to read the rest of Psalm 121.  I encourage you to read through Psalms when you're hurting.  God wants to help you.  God IS your help.  Just call on Him, cast your burdens on Him, and He will deliver you.

Psalm 55:22

"Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved."

1 Peter 5:6, 7

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him, for He cares for you."

Feeling Unworthy of Forgiveness

Last time, we covered feeling unworthy of love.  Today, I’d like to cover the feeling of unworthiness of forgiveness.

Maybe you can’t see your own worth because of the mistakes you’ve made in your life.  But let me tell you something – You are not perfect.  Once you accept this, you’ll see that it’s easier to move past your mistakes.

Notice I said easier.  It won’t be easy.  This I know, but eventually, the pain will end, and you’ll move past it.

No one is perfect.  Let’s look at this phrase a little closer.

We are only human.  There is no way we can be perfect.  Sure, we ought to strive for perfection, but we’re going to screw up.  It’s just us being human!

No matter how hard we try not to sin or mess up, chances are we’re going to at least once or a couple of times our life. 

Romans 3:23

 For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God

That verse proves that God knows we’re all sinners.  We mess up at times.

Psalm 78: 38, 39

But He, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity, And did not destroy them.  Yes, many a time He turned His anger away, And did not stir up all His wrath; For He remembered that they were but flesh, A breath that passes away and does not come again.

See, God knows that we’re only human.  He is compassionate, and forgiveness is ours if we only ask for it.  But that hardest part about seeking forgiveness or feeling unworthy of forgiveness is the unwillingness to forgive ourselves.

Sometimes, we feel like we have screwed up our lives so much that we aren’t deserving of a good, happy life.  But that’s not true.  God has forgiven us when we repent of our sins.  Why can’t we forgive ourselves?

Psalm 103:12

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

That’s a good question.  One I struggled with for years.  I couldn’t see past the mistakes I’d made.  But, they happened.  I had to learn to accept that.    

Sheila Walsh in “Let Go” says

“To say that we don’t deserve to be forgiven is to make our sin more powerful than the blood of Christ. If God forgives us, then we must forgive ourselves…. Every sin was covered by the lifeblood of the Lamb.”

She also says, “…forgiveness means being comfortable with ourselves, the good and the bad.  We don’t have to be perfect.”

And she also says, “It’s vital, though, that we separate what we did from who we are.”

It’s hard to see our mistakes as a separate entity.  But that’s just what it is.  We made a mistake, but we don’t have to let it define us.  It’s separate from us.  We have to forgive ourselves to get peace of mind and healing from unforgiveness. 

Say this every day, “I’m not perfect.  I don’t have to be perfect.  If I mess up, I will ask for forgiveness, forgive myself, and live life.”

Learn to let go and forgive.  You are forgiven.  You are free from this unforgiveness trap.  Just accept it.

Learning to Forgive

There was something I always struggled with in my Christian life.  It was learning to forgive.  How can I trust someone who has continuously hurt me over and over again?  How could I ever deal with what that person did to me?  I never really realized that I was holding a grudge or not forgiving those I had let into my heart who had hurt me. 

One time, I said to my mom in a moment of sadness and rage that I wished I had never loved someone who had hurt me to the core.  I had given them my heart, and they ripped in two.  She told me, “Emerald, if you quit loving people, you’ll distance yourself from God and won’t let Him in because GOD IS LOVE.” 

That’s when I realized that no matter how much someone has hurt me, the most important thing was to forgive them for what they did so I could start the healing process.  Was it easy?  Gosh no!  It was the hardest thing I had ever done.  And, to be honest, I didn’t even realize I had not forgiven these people.  I thought I had, but true forgiveness wasn’t given.  I poured my heart out to God and finally forgave those that hurt me.  

I’m currently reading a book called “Let Go” by Sheila Walsh.  In that book, she talks about forgiving and the trap of unforgiveness.  She said a lot of brilliant things.  But these really rang true with me.  “…if we want to live free in Christ’s love, we must forgive.” 

Also, “I believe we can only really forgive when we acknowledge the depth to which we have been wounded and allow ourselves to ‘own’ the pain….[to]face the truth that we are wounded.”

And “We need to accept that we live in a world where at times pain is just part of the package.  When we humbly admit that we are wounded and allow ourselves to feel that pain, only then can we bring it to Christ for healing and begin the process of forgiveness.”

These are just three quotes in an entire chapter that makes you see how forgiving and letting go and letting God can bring about healing of the pain we’re struggling with. 

I know it’s hard.  I want to hold grudges and hate the people who have hurt me, but that isn’t the best way to live.  We have to love because GOD IS LOVE!  Learning to love and not hate is something that will come about once we experience true forgiveness for the pain caused in our lives.

Now, I want to talk about something that isn’t related to others.  It’s about learning to forgive ourselves.  We can hate ourselves for the mistakes that we have made or for other reasons.  But the fact is, we can forgive others, but true forgiveness also requires for us to forgive ourselves! 

Why shouldn’t we extend the same forgiveness towards ourselves that we give to others?  God has forgiven us of our sins once we repent of them and forgotten them.  Why can’t we?  Because we’re human.  But once we give our burdens to Christ, forgive ourselves, we can move on and be free of pain!  Isn’t that something to look forward to?!  Not hurting… To be pain free.  To move on with our lives?! 

That sounds like a good idea to me.  I know that pain lasts much longer than we ever want it to, and as clichéd as it is, time will heal all wounds.  But there are things that we must learn to let go of in order to start the healing process.  And, forgiving others and ourselves is part of that. 

We can’t shut out God.  He wants to help us.  He wants us to forgive others.  He wants us to forgive ourselves.  He loves us.  He wants us to be happy and free!  Freedom is in Him, but it’s important for us to forgive in order to be free!    

Just Let Me Forget!

Have you ever just said, “I want to erase the memories of those last few months” or something along those lines?  Do you just want to forget ever making those mistakes that haunt you or forgetting that boy or girl who broke your heart?  And you find yourself almost praying that God will let you forget.

But do we really need to forget those memories?  Sure, it would be a lot easier to forget, but those memories and our pasts will eventually make us stronger.  I know it’s hard to see now, but eventually living life with those memories will get easier.  But if you focus on something – sadly, my focus has been on being angry with the people who hurt me (I’m not saying that I don’t care for them or their souls.  I just feel like being angry helps me get past it.  And I don't suggest anger.  It's not healthy, and I'm working past that.) – it helps to deal with the past. 

I don’t think God wants us to forget our pasts because we’re human.  We learn from what has happened to us.  We grow, and we learn what not to do in our future to keep us happy. 

But how do we move on?  Pray.  Study your Bible.  Focus on God.  Sure, those memories will cross your minds from time to time, but if we keep our focus on God and what He wants from our life, we’ll be much happier.  Also, know that He has forgiven us of our sins if we've ever asked for that forgiveness.  He loves us more than we can ever comprehend.  

Everything happens for a reason.  We may never know the reason for what has happened to us in the past, but God does.  God knows what we need, and He knows where we’re going.  Just have hope.  Hope that it’ll all work out in the future.  Because without hope, how can we have faith?  Without hope and faith, life wouldn’t be worth living.

So, although it would be easier to forget, it wouldn’t be as helpful for our futures if we did.  I have to constantly remind myself of that.  I want to forget.  I want to forget my past relationships and mistakes I’ve made.  I wonder continuously why it even happened if it was only going to end in heartache.  All will be revealed in time.  I just have to wait which isn’t one of my virtues.  Patience is something I’m not good at, but then again, it’s something I’ll have to learn.    

Finding the Sun in the midst of the Storms

Thursday night, as I was headed to meet my best friend before we hit the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises, I drove through some storm clouds.  It was around seven o’clock at night, and I had no expectations of seeing the sun again until the next morning.  But I was wrong.  I could see the sun, shining brightly ahead of me and a wall of black clouds directly behind me.

Since I was by myself and the songs on the radio were making me sad, I got to thinking about my current situation in life.  I don’t know where my life is going, and right now, I’m not sure I want to try and figure it out.  Because every time I try to plan out my life, it never goes according to MY plan, but that doesn’t matter.  My life is going according to GOD’S plan. 

This is the picture I took on Thursday. 

Seeing the sunshine ahead of me and the dark clouds behind me though, reminded me that no matter what I’m going through the storm clouds will eventually be on the other side, and the sun will be right ahead of me.  I may not see the sun until the next morning, but it’s there.  Always ready to come back up and shine.

God is like that.  We may be in the middle of a storm, but God is there waiting on us to show us the way, the light. 

I’m not saying whatever your storm cloud is will be easy to drive out of, and I’m not saying your storm will only last a night.  But what I do know is that God is there to help us during the storm and after the storm. 

This reminds me of a quote from Joyce Meyer’s book, The Battlefield of the Mind.  “It’s easy to quit; it takes faith to go through.”

How true is that statement?!  It’s so easy to give up, and the storms overtake us and toss us around.  We believe the lies the Devil is spreading, and we have no idea how on earth to find our way to the Son again.  We question the storms.  Why are they in our lives?  Why can’t we have what we want?  Why?  Why, God, Why?  I’ve been here.  Very recently in fact.  I had too much time to think last night while waiting for the movie to begin at midnight and driving to my best friend's house.  Why am I here?  Why am I facing the trials and storm clouds that I am?  I don’t know.  I don’t have the answers.  God does, and in time, He’ll reveal that to me I hope.  But until then, what I have to do is keep living my life for God, to keep having the faith that He has the storms in His hands, and He’ll deliver me from them.  And the sun is just on the other side of those thick, black storm clouds. 

I will leave you with these verses.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (NIV)

And here is the last half of Psalm 30:5 “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (KJV)

Your joy, your sun will come in the morning.  He didn’t say what morning, but He knows which morning.  And that’s all that matters.  Have the faith that God will bring you through these storms because in the end, all things come together how they were meant to be. 

Free Today! Read Me Dead, a YA Romantic Suspense

I normally won't do promotions and all for my own books on this blog, but on occasion, I would like to share my books.  Today, my second novel, Read Me Dead, is free for your Kindle.  This might be the last time at free depending on what I do for marketing. 

Read Me Dead is about a young girl, striving to be normal in her otherwise not-so-normal life.  She's facing a murderer and trying to decide who she loves more, her best friend or her ex-boyfriend.

In Read Me Dead, my goal in writing it was that I wanted to show young girls, that no matter what happens in their lives, and although Read Me Dead is a little extreme in example, everyone their age just wants to be normal.

So, if you feel inclined to do so, download your free copy today.

US Link

UK Link   

For seven years, Alex has lived with a painful memory - her parents' horrific murder. As the sole witness, she has kept quiet to protect herself, but when the local newspaper reveals her secret, Alex is plagued with fear that her parents' murderer will soon find her - and silence her forever.

Alex is catapulted into a race against time to save her own life and bring her parents' murderer to justice.