Feeling Unworthy of Love

Have you ever felt undeserving of anything?  Maybe you feel unworthy in the eyes of the person you love.  Maybe you feel unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness.  Maybe it’s unworthiness of your happiness or in your work place.  Sometimes you feel as if you don’t deserve any good thing in your life.

Why would you feel that way?  There has to be some reason that has made you feel this way.  Let’s look at one of those reasons right now.

You don’t feel like someone will ever love you or you don't deserve the love you've been given.

I used to feel that way.  Sometimes I still do.  You feel as if you need to lose weight to be beautiful.  Or you feel like you aren’t handsome enough, good enough.  Maybe you feel like your personality drives people away.  Maybe you think you aren’t attractive enough.  Sometimes you feel as if you’ll never find your significant other. 

This isn’t true.

Do you remember the post about being beautiful and the song, “Beautiful” by Mercy Me?

Well, a couple of years ago – maybe close to two – I was visiting my cousin.  I had been through a breakup and was feeling down about myself.  I had been talking to her about how I just wished someone would love me.  I felt fat, ugly and unlovable.

I wanted a husband, kids.  My cousin was married and my younger sister too.  I was the only girl in my family who wasn’t in a serious relationship.  I felt alone and worthless.  I wanted more out of my life than I was getting. 

After leaving my cousin’s house that night, I was driving home, listening to KLOVE’s radio station in my area and “Beautiful” by Mercy Me came on.

I could feel the Spirit of God coming over me.  I knew He wanted me to hear that song.  Especially the part that says, “You are treasured.  You are sacred, and you are His.”

It was then that God revealed to me that I’m His.  It doesn’t matter what I or anyone else thinks or says about me because I’m God’s child.  He made me.  How dare I think that I’m not worthy of anyone’s love, especially His. 

My life changed after that.  I no longer saw my life as a waste of time or wishing for things I didn’t have.  I’m worthy of love – God’s love and whoever my future husband will be.

I’m still not married, and sometimes, it sucks.  I want that relationship with another human being.  But right now, it’s not in God’s will for my life, so I’ll focus my attention on God and dive deeper into His Word.  But, I won’t forget that I AM in fact worthy of this love because I am God’s child. 

He created me.  He molded me into His image.  He wants the best for me and doesn’t want me to settle for second best.

Do I know God’s will for my life?  No – but I know what He promised me.  A good life – good but not always easy.  The desires of my heart but within His will, not mine. 

I know that sometimes it’s not easy feeling worthy.  In fact, our human nature wants us to feel like we aren’t good enough, but God has said that we are His children.  He created us, and He wants us to realize that we are worthy because He sent his Son to die for our sins.  His blood has us covered.  We just have to remember that.  God loves us.  What can man do to us if God loves us? 

“What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

Just Let Me Forget!

Have you ever just said, “I want to erase the memories of those last few months” or something along those lines?  Do you just want to forget ever making those mistakes that haunt you or forgetting that boy or girl who broke your heart?  And you find yourself almost praying that God will let you forget.

But do we really need to forget those memories?  Sure, it would be a lot easier to forget, but those memories and our pasts will eventually make us stronger.  I know it’s hard to see now, but eventually living life with those memories will get easier.  But if you focus on something – sadly, my focus has been on being angry with the people who hurt me (I’m not saying that I don’t care for them or their souls.  I just feel like being angry helps me get past it.  And I don't suggest anger.  It's not healthy, and I'm working past that.) – it helps to deal with the past. 

I don’t think God wants us to forget our pasts because we’re human.  We learn from what has happened to us.  We grow, and we learn what not to do in our future to keep us happy. 

But how do we move on?  Pray.  Study your Bible.  Focus on God.  Sure, those memories will cross your minds from time to time, but if we keep our focus on God and what He wants from our life, we’ll be much happier.  Also, know that He has forgiven us of our sins if we've ever asked for that forgiveness.  He loves us more than we can ever comprehend.  

Everything happens for a reason.  We may never know the reason for what has happened to us in the past, but God does.  God knows what we need, and He knows where we’re going.  Just have hope.  Hope that it’ll all work out in the future.  Because without hope, how can we have faith?  Without hope and faith, life wouldn’t be worth living.

So, although it would be easier to forget, it wouldn’t be as helpful for our futures if we did.  I have to constantly remind myself of that.  I want to forget.  I want to forget my past relationships and mistakes I’ve made.  I wonder continuously why it even happened if it was only going to end in heartache.  All will be revealed in time.  I just have to wait which isn’t one of my virtues.  Patience is something I’m not good at, but then again, it’s something I’ll have to learn.