When you're not a Jonah...Speaking about Angels

I stand in front of the congregation. My voice is shaking. My hands are shaking, and I just *know* people are judging me. (But they weren't. I have the best church family. I was just in my own head.) I was afraid that I wasn't good enough. That I was too fat to stand in front of the church. That I wasn't good enough.

But...I once I began to speak - things changed.

Back in November, I wrote a blog post, I Don't Want to Be a Jonah. I talked about how I was nervous about speaking in front of my church about angels, something that I didn't feel qualified to do. Well, I finally spoke at my church back in March, over a month ago. (I know. I'm late with this post. I'm sorry to those who were expecting it sooner.) And, I did better than I thought I would. I was nervous, yes, and it was evident in my shaky, breathless voice. But I did it. I did what God asked of me. I wasn't a Jonah.

I think that's the thing that makes me the happiest. God didn't have to get my attention by me refusing to do what He has asked of me. Even though I was nervous and scared that I would screw up something, He helped me through. He gave me the words to speak, and I did it.

And it helped others. God used my words, words that He had given me, to help people in my church and their families. That night, I received word from someone who had used what I'd said to call on angels to help her family when a tornado tore through their community.

I mean, come on. How awesome is our God?! The timing was perfect, and I was even blessed by a sweet couple in our church just for being obedient to God.

The thing is, I wasn't qualified for this job. I wasn't, but God qualified me. He has given me insight into angels that I didn't even realize I knew about until I was preparing to speak at my church. And it was then that I realized that God could use me, my voice, to change things. Okay, well, I've realized that He could before then, but I always thought it would be in a different way, such as using my voice to spread the #loveyourself message that has become so important to me. And I can still do that, but I can also speak about angels and what I know about them. Or whatever else God has me speak about.

It's silly to think that I can only speak about one thing, if I really think about it. Pastors and speakers don't only speak about one topic, so why should I be any different? I don't write blog posts that are the same when I post on here. Why would speaking be any different?

My biggest fear was that I didn't know what I was doing and would say something totally unrelated to what God said about it. I know it was probably just the devil messing with me, and I let him. I let him tell me that I would make a mistake and accidentally tell something that wasn't exactly right.

I don't really remember what I said that night, but I do know that many people stopped and talked to me, telling me their own angel experiences or how much they enjoyed what I said. I loved hearing their angel experiences, and if you have one, let me know! I would love to hear about it!

Since I can't exactly remember what I spoke about, below is my speech. I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know your experiences!

If the embedded file doesn't work, here is the link to it: Speaking about Angels 

Where is God?

Have you ever felt like you cannot be comforted from whatever it is that is bothering you?  Maybe you feel like nothing will ever be right in your life again, that whatever hurts you will forever hang over your head.

You cry out the words, "Where is my help?"  And the verse may come to mind, "My help comes from the Lord."

You think, where is God in this?  Don't fret.  You aren't the only one who has thought that.  Even in the Bible, say in Psalm 119:82, it says,

"My eyes fail from searching Your word, Saying, "When will You comfort me?"

Sure, there are answers to your problems in the Word of God.  There are times, though, that you can read through the Bible and not find anything to help you deal with your problems.  Or, you find them but they don't alleviate your worries and concerns.

So you keep praying, and you keep searching. Good.  Keep doing do that.  Because, you WILL find GOD the more you read the word and search for Him.

He hasn't moved.  The problem is us.  We aren't casting all of our worries on God.  We aren't letting go of our problems and giving it to Him.

I've done this.  I've prayed and prayed until I felt like my prayers were bouncing off of the ceiling.  I felt like God wasn't hearing my cries for help, and I felt like if He was hearing them, He wasn't answering them.

That of course wasn't the case.  The answers I wanted weren't in God's will.  He was hearing me, and He was answering my prayers.  He just wasn't answering them the way I wanted Him to, but after some thought, and a good read through Psalms, I knew that I had to "Let Go and Let God."

He wants to help us.  He wants to comfort us, but we won't let Him.  We, as humans, want to fix the problems ourselves.  We want God to take a lead from us and follow our directions, but we can't do that.  We have to follow God's directions for our lives - the Word.

When you feel like God isn't near, I beg you to reconsider your thoughts.  God is right there.  Waiting.  Waiting on you to come to Him and let Him be the Father that He wants to be.  He wants to comfort His child.  It isn't His will to make us suffer.  We make ourselves suffer by not giving into Him and falling into His loving arms that are waiting for us.

Psalm 121: 1, 2

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills - From whence comes my help?  My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth."

I encourage you to read the rest of Psalm 121.  I encourage you to read through Psalms when you're hurting.  God wants to help you.  God IS your help.  Just call on Him, cast your burdens on Him, and He will deliver you.

Psalm 55:22

"Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved."

1 Peter 5:6, 7

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him, for He cares for you."

Feeling Unworthy of Love

Have you ever felt undeserving of anything?  Maybe you feel unworthy in the eyes of the person you love.  Maybe you feel unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness.  Maybe it’s unworthiness of your happiness or in your work place.  Sometimes you feel as if you don’t deserve any good thing in your life.

Why would you feel that way?  There has to be some reason that has made you feel this way.  Let’s look at one of those reasons right now.

You don’t feel like someone will ever love you or you don't deserve the love you've been given.

I used to feel that way.  Sometimes I still do.  You feel as if you need to lose weight to be beautiful.  Or you feel like you aren’t handsome enough, good enough.  Maybe you feel like your personality drives people away.  Maybe you think you aren’t attractive enough.  Sometimes you feel as if you’ll never find your significant other. 

This isn’t true.

Do you remember the post about being beautiful and the song, “Beautiful” by Mercy Me?

Well, a couple of years ago – maybe close to two – I was visiting my cousin.  I had been through a breakup and was feeling down about myself.  I had been talking to her about how I just wished someone would love me.  I felt fat, ugly and unlovable.

I wanted a husband, kids.  My cousin was married and my younger sister too.  I was the only girl in my family who wasn’t in a serious relationship.  I felt alone and worthless.  I wanted more out of my life than I was getting. 

After leaving my cousin’s house that night, I was driving home, listening to KLOVE’s radio station in my area and “Beautiful” by Mercy Me came on.

I could feel the Spirit of God coming over me.  I knew He wanted me to hear that song.  Especially the part that says, “You are treasured.  You are sacred, and you are His.”

It was then that God revealed to me that I’m His.  It doesn’t matter what I or anyone else thinks or says about me because I’m God’s child.  He made me.  How dare I think that I’m not worthy of anyone’s love, especially His. 

My life changed after that.  I no longer saw my life as a waste of time or wishing for things I didn’t have.  I’m worthy of love – God’s love and whoever my future husband will be.

I’m still not married, and sometimes, it sucks.  I want that relationship with another human being.  But right now, it’s not in God’s will for my life, so I’ll focus my attention on God and dive deeper into His Word.  But, I won’t forget that I AM in fact worthy of this love because I am God’s child. 

He created me.  He molded me into His image.  He wants the best for me and doesn’t want me to settle for second best.

Do I know God’s will for my life?  No – but I know what He promised me.  A good life – good but not always easy.  The desires of my heart but within His will, not mine. 

I know that sometimes it’s not easy feeling worthy.  In fact, our human nature wants us to feel like we aren’t good enough, but God has said that we are His children.  He created us, and He wants us to realize that we are worthy because He sent his Son to die for our sins.  His blood has us covered.  We just have to remember that.  God loves us.  What can man do to us if God loves us? 

“What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

Count Your Blessings; Not Your Losses

One morning, I woke up thinking about the things in my life that I had lost or wished that I had in my life that I didn't.  On the verge of tears, God spoke to me - not in an audible voice but in a thought.

Why aren't you focusing on your blessings instead of your losses?

My first thought was, "Yes Lord."  And then I really thought about it.  How do we lose sight of our blessings?  Why can't we be happy with what we've got and trust the Lord will give us what we need?

We can.  It's just a matter of "disciplining our flesh"as a great lady of God at our church said one Sunday morning.

See, our spirit is always at war with our flesh.  Our flesh wants us to dwell on temptations, losses and things that will bring our spiritual side into war with our flesh.

Romans 8: 5-6

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh; but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.  For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

We have to be spiritually minded to get that peace that God has promised us.  We have to dwell in Him and what He has provided us.  We need to focus on our Spiritual side (blessings) and not our flesh (losses).  If we lose sight of our blessings, we will suffer "death".  No,  not literal death, but spiritual death.  If you aren't spiritually minded, you can't live your life peacefully.

We, our flesh, wants us to focus on our losses, but God wants us to focus on our blessings!

What's the point of worrying over what we see as a loss when, in fact, it's a blessing in disguise?  Sure, it's hard to see it as a blessing at first, but God ALWAYS has a plan.  It's HIS blessing to us, to our future.

Because, let's face it, God knows WAY more about our future than we do.  He knows what we need.  He knows the desires of our hearts, and it's His will to give us those desires.

Remember last week's post about waiting patiently on the Lord?  That comes in handy while we wait for our needs and desires.  When we go through a tough time and have to wait, God is opening up the way for our future blessings.

When we wake up in the mornings, we should thank God for blessing us with life!  Don't listen to those lies that run around your head saying that it isn't a good day or you don't have a good life.  That's a horrible lie straight from the devil!

Psalm 118:24

      This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.

You have a pulse.  You woke up in the morning.  Look around at how much God has done for you.  He has given you life.  Blessings beyond your imagination!

Focus on those blessings!  And you'll have peace instead of worry!

Proverbs 10:22

       The blessing of the Lord makes one rich, And He adds no sorrow with it.